I’m back on the dating scene.
I am hopeful that I can find a partner with similar interests and am ready to work on building a committed relationship. Quickly, I noticed that I was rusty on these dating apps. The volume of information required to find the right match is crazy, but it comforts me. I know the algorithm will provide a robust list of potentials.
Wrong.
Men want everything that couples do except commitment. All the conversations were the same:
I am not ready for a relationship, but we can have sex.
If you want to see other people, let me know so that I can back off.
I’m not looking for anything serious right now, but we can see where this goes.
At one point, I felt the conversations were repetitive. Every guy was hitting me those lines. Sadly, I enjoyed the sex talk, late-night texts, and deep conversations. I was ready to move on to dates, but no one was making the moves. After months of talking, none of the men were willing to commit to a relationship. You want me, but not bad enough. There’s nothing more frustrating than not knowing where you stand in someone else’s eyes. I spoke with gentlemen coach Christopher Crossley and obtained unique insight into a man’s mind.
Here are seven reasons he’s keeping you around but doesn’t want a relationship.
He doesn’t want to hurt you.
The truth can be that he doesn’t want a relationship with you but cannot find a way to communicate this to you. He cares too much to hurt you.
You are giving him everything he wants.
You’re treating him like both of you are a serious couple. Why would he move to a relationship? You treat him like a King. He receives the benefits of being in a relationship.
He doesn’t want you with anyone else.
Typical men. They don’t want to commit but avoid you from finding your soulmate. His possessiveness can be a turn-on, but he doesn’t see you as his partner. He is not doing this to protect you but has selfish reasons to keep you around.
He’s bored and looking for a distraction.
This is not specific to guys. People date around because they have nothing better to do with their time. It provides short-term pleasure or fulfillment. He’s interested in you because he doesn’t want to be alone.
Do you want to be a distraction?
You are available and around.
I can speak about this. You have made it easy for these men to contact you. Whether responding to the messages within seconds or making yourself available to a meet-up, I will come running to him quickly.
He simply doesn’t want a relationship.
There are underlying issues that prevent men from committing to any relationship. Maybe, they had a toxic past relationship or encountered some sort of childhood trauma. It’s difficult to find the source unless you ask.
You have accepted the bare minimum.
He gives you the least possible amount of himself to keep you interested. You are not asking for too much, and there is no accountability. All these limitations have made it easier for him to play his role. Manipulation and gaslighting can be displayed in situations like these.
“You are so sensitive. It was a joke.”
What do you do now?
Now, you are equipped with the basic signs. It helps you to understand where you stand. Discuss your feeling and allow them time to process everything. If he still doesn’t want the relationship, there’s nothing you can do but move on. He has to want to work it out with you. Find a better relationship; we deserve better. We deserve the love and respect from a man who is willing to put in the work. It will be a challenge to remain friends. You will need to cut him off to avoid the repetition of his behavior.
It will make you happy and free up space for meaningful conversations or relationships.
If you want to figure out his reasons, especially if he seems happy with you, take that opportunity.
What are some other signs? Let’s hear ho we can avoid them.
